Pretended Guitar vs. Real Ukulele

It's a long time since Jen and Will came over. I remember when they came they gave me some dinosaurs and I showed Will my guitar. I have a ukulele and a guitar, but my guitar isn't real. But my guitar plays songs by itself. It plays a song my dadda just loves. My ukulele is real. Real things don't do stuff by theirselves. When I learn how to play my ukulele I can play beautiful songs.

Baloonkas and the Chocolate Factory

[Dad's Note: The following are the ramblings of an over-stimulated, delirious kindergartener]

My mom says I should dedicate my blog to people and not things. Like I wanted to give this one to this horse tie I'm chewing in my mouth, but I'll give this one to Momma. But the horse tie is cool because you can bend it around anything.

I'm watching a show about chocolick. It's called Willy Wonka. Dadda says he never seen it but I remember he saw it. Everything is made out of chocolick. There is little guys called baloonkas. There's a lot of them and there is a big huge waterfall that is chocolick. I'm not kidding you.

Wouldn't it be fun if you could live somewhere that everything is made out of chocolick? I wish we had a room in our house that had flowers made out of chocolick that you could eat.

Did you know there is a kind of gum in this movie that turns people fat- into the size of a blueberry? It makes you move slow and have little hands and little legs. It makes you look like you're going to blow up. If dadda ate some of this gum it would turn him blue and turn him fatter than he already is.

Now they are eating lots of delicious candy. A lot, I tell ya. But they don't even get obetes like Dus-E-Boy.

What if there were chocolick dinosaurs?! If I had those I would take them with me every single place. Hmm. Now a little kid's grandpa is singing. He went with the little boy to the factory with so much chocolick. That show makes me want chocolick. But we couldn't get any now because all the stores are closed. Except Wal-Mart.

[For newcomers, 'obetes' = diabetes.]

A Special Prayer for Weston

This one is for the Utahraptor. He has terrible claws on his feet that can rip other dinosaurs to shreds. I saw a really cool big plane, but it's not cooler than a Utahraptor.

Something is wrong with West. They sticked a needle in his arm and sucked some blood out so they can find out what's wrong. I will say a special prayer for him so he will get better because Jesus helps us when we're hurt.

Heavenly Father, please help my brother West. He has something wrong and he got blood sucked from him at the doctor. Amen.

[Dad's Note: Weston had a checkup and some labwork done today. It wasn't necessarily routine, but it isn't necessarily worrisome. But it's sweet that Bridger is so concerned about his brother.]

The Dinosaur Boy Goes To School

[Dad's Note: This is Bridger's 100th post! Of course the true landmark will be his 164th post, then his 8025th. This was also Bridger's first day of school. I'm not sure I like this growing up thing.]

This one is for my new friend Silas.

Today I went to kindergarten. I played with McCall. I made one new friend, but I don't remember his name. I forgot to video his name in my mind. Oh, now I remember- his name is Silas. He had a allosaurus shirt and the allosaurus is the state dinosaur. They found the first allosaurus in a little cave. They found the bones in the wall. The paleontologists didn't take those bones out of the wall. They left them there so that people could see them.

I have to tell about something that Katie found in her backyard. She called me from Tescas. It was a dinosaur fossil that was 80 feet long. Katie says it has large tooths the size of a pencil. It was bones. She is going to give it to me to keep.

[It was actually Katie's college school teacher's brother that found the fossil in his back yard, but it is a true story. But as I understand it, Katie's plans to "give it" to Bridger will be news to her:). Maybe Katie can tell us what kind of dino it was.

The allosaurus dig Bridger refers to is the Cleveland Lloyd Dinosaur Quarry near Price, Utah. The cave he mentions is an exhibit at Dinosaur Park. The allosaurus was designated Utah's State Fossil in 1988.]

Funny Looking Dinos, Ghost Towns, and Birthday Loot

This one is for all the swimming dinosaurs. They swim all day in the deep, deep water looking for things to eat.

Did you know there is funny-looking dinosaurs? Like centrosaurus. He only has one horn.

We goed to a ghost town yesterday! A ghost town is where ghosts live. But it wasn't spooky to me. That place was 164 old, but not older than the dinosaurs. It has broken windows everywhere. I didn't see any ghosts there, but you can't see ghosts, silly!

I got so many cool things for my birthday- a Shamu thing that you put in your bath and it swims. And a swimming light that has fishies in it. I even got a cane! And Hilli gave me the coolests book that I've never seen. And a doodle glow and even a ukulele just like my dadda's. Now I can jam with dadda and Will.

WEST'S WISDOM: I will play dadda's ukulele and you will all dance.

[Dad's Note: The ghost town was Wendover Air Base. Bridger had his extended family birthday party tonight, hence the new presents. He has always wanted a cane like his grandpa, so his aunt Tammy got one for his birthday.]

Maiasaura Momma

This one is for momma's poor computer.

If my momma was a dinosaur she would be a maiasaura because the maiasaura is a good momma to her babies. They are the bestest mommies ever. Not like a t-rex, because t-rex's eat their children.

I have a Land Before Time game that the Kids put on momma's computer, but it's broke. It just made a blue screen with thousands of words. Momma says that's bad. And everything that we pushed- it wouldn't do anything. But momma foud a way to get that blue screen with thousands of words off. So maybe we'll have to put that Land Before Time game on dadda's 'puter. It makes me sad that my favorite game doesn't work.

I Won the Dinosaur Park Contest!!

This one is for McCall because she's my friend.

I won the dinosaur contest at Dinosaur Park! I looked just like Zane and they gived me a prize. That means now I get to go to Dinosaur Park for free whenever I want! I don't even have to pay moneys any more!

I love Dinosaur Park. Did you know they have dinosaur statues there? They also have real dinosaurs inside. That baby t-rex is fighting the triceratops. I don't think that baby t-rex will ever grow up to be big. He's been a baby for 8025 years. The momma t-rex is outside eating a parasaurolophus's guts. I wish she would bring that baby t-rex some of that parasaurolophus so he wouldn't have to try to get the triceratops. He thinks he's big and tough, but that triceratops could probably kill him.

You know something else funny about those real dinosaurs? They always stand in the same place all day long and fight. If that baby t-rex ever grows up, they'll put him outside with his momma.

I was talking to Zane about dinosaurs and I don't know if he knows about the metriacanthosaur. Good thing I was wearing a metriacanthosaur tooth necklace. That is my favorite dinosaur. Zane is a cool paleontologist.

[Dad's Note: As mentioned earlier, the "real" dinos are actually slick animatronics, which explains why the baby t-rex never grows up and why they stand in the same place all day.

Bridger didn't win the much coveted trip to San Antonio or the TV spot. Instead, that went to Harry Potter in his camo shorts and his dad's fishing shirt. In a rather gutless cop-out, the judges decided not to pick a clear winner for fear of making somebody feel bad. Instead they "called a tie" between 3 finalists (of whom Bridger was one), and decided to draw the grand prize winners out of a hat. Bridger drew third prize- a season pass to the park. Don't get me wrong- that's a great prize. But it ain't exactly an all-expenses paid family trip to SeaWorld San Antonio or a TV spot. After some initial disappointment, Bridger thought his prize was cool, and that's what matters.

Note to the people at B98.7 FM: Next time you host a contest, grow some kahunas and pick a clear winner based on the rules of your contest and the merits of the contestants. Please don't call it a contest if the winner will be determined solely by the luck of the draw.]

Another Day at Dinosaur Park

This one is for Katie. She reads my blog every day.

I'm going to watch Jurassic Park 3. That is about a big old spinosaurus that breaks a airplane. And the airplane is gigantic but the spinosaurus is bigger. And he could just break the cage.

We went swimming tonight. I have a strong swimming suit. It makes me have muscles. It makes me float in the water. Tomorrow when I go to Dinosaur Park Zane the Dino Brain will ask me what my favorite dinosaur is. I'm going to say a metriacanthosaur. I will be in a contest tomorrow at Dinosaur Park. I am dressing up like a paleontologist. If I win the contest I get to be on TV and be famous! Maybe I will also win "Walking With Monsters." Oh I love that show.

I wish Alison Krauss could come to Dinosaur Park with me. She could come if she knew where it's at.

[Dad's Note: We'll let you know how the contest goes. "Walking with Monsters" is a dinosaur documentary that is sold at the Dinosaur Park gift shop for about $27. It's actually pretty cool- but not $27 cool. Bridger has wanted Alison Krauss to come to Dinosaur Park with him since he was 3 and wrote her this letter.]

Getting Kicked Out of the Dollar Store

This one is for Jesus. He is kind to everyone.

I have a joke for you..."We'll play Land Before Time after we play Land Before Time!" Here is a picture of a carnotaur.

Me and West were being wild in the dollar store and the lady came and told us not to come into that store any more if we can't mind our manners. She was trying to put toys away and we was taking them and playing them wild. She was a little mad so I gave her the car nicely but Weston didn't. Momma was very disappointed in us. Hmm.. maybe we shouldn't put that story in my blog, dadda.

I forgetted to video in my mind when I took my school test today. I seed my teacher and she talked to me but I don't remember what she said to me because I didn't video that.

See you later, alligator. After a while, crocodile!

[Dad's Note: Bridger had an evaluation at his school today to determine which class to put him in. He's been a little wired today, as you can plainly tell.]

Disneyland Dreams

This one is for Minnie Mouse. She's a mouse that lives at Disneyland.

This is a picture of me and West with Sleeping Beauty. She is beautiful. I'm thinking about Disneyland tonight. Do you that Disneyland is too much fun to even tell about? It's 8025 fun. It is a long time since we been to Disneyland. My favorite ride is the dinosaur train ride. You get on a train and it takes you past dinosaurs. But the dinosaurs don't get the people on the train because the t-rex is too busy fighting the stegosaurus.

I love the Winnie the Pooh ride. It's a ride for little kids. When I'm in that ride I pretend I'm a dinosaur and I eat every single little piece of honey. Oh, I love the Teacups! They go round and round and round. You turn the wheel and go fast!

I wish 8025 bad that I was at Disneyland. It's just too many moneys.

How'd They Get Those Numbers On There?

This one is for The Kids.

Do you know what car is my favorite? Dinoco, because it has a dinosaur on it! Sally is in Love with Lightening McQueen, but she's just a regular car. But they can make Sally a race car. They can just put numbers on her. Then they can get married.

The numbers on race cars are those cars' favorite number. If I was a race car they would put 100 on me. I like every single number though, even 164 and 900. I'm not sure how they put the numbers on, but I think Jesus puts the numbers on cars. He paints those numbers on there. If a fast dinosaur like struthiomimus was in a race, they would put numbers on him. But it would be a piece of paper, because it would be silly to paint a dinosaur.

The Sneaker Spider Resurfaces

This one is for Momma.
I just found the sneaker spider in my spider book! Also I found a big picture of the giant spider my dadda found in Tescas. I guess if you want to get a picture in a book you take a picture and send it to the library and they put it in a book.

I went to Dinosar Park last night. Did you know they have real dinosaurs there? There's a baby t-rex trying to eat a momma triceratops and her babies. It's a baby t-rex so he's not old enough to fight, but he sure doesn't look like a baby, but he is.

[Dad's Note: If you're new to Bridger's blog, the story of the Sneaker Spider was an intriguing saga during this summer's early days. We're not sure exactly what kind of spider the Sneaker Spider is, but apparantly it followed Bridger for several weeks until Weston killed it with a stick. The spider in Bridger's book is a common garden spider.

The "real" dinosaurs at Dinosaur Park are very realistic animatronic dinos.]

D.I. Dinos: Bronto, Harry, and Sharpenter

I got a new dinosaur book at D.I. It is old. Older than my combosauruses. Even older than my momma and dadda. There is a meateater and a plant-eater sleeping. He'd better watch out. Then the meateater almost gets him. What a very special book. It has a little rip in it even. You know what? Bronto looks like he has a monkey face!

I also got some cool dinosaurs at D.I. I named the t-rex Harry and his friend's name is Sharpenter. I named him Sharpenter because of his sharp eyes. That means his eyes are the bestest so he can hunt good. Sharpenter is a t-rex which is a meateater. But even though he is a meateater he's still a good dinosaur, because he only eats bad dinosaurs.

[Dad's Note: For those not familiar with D.I., it is a used items charity store in Utah run by the LDS Church. Bronto the Brontosaurus was published by Rand McNally in 1967. It's cool that Bridger is old school.]

Chasing the Ice Cream Man

This one is for my sweet kitten named Teacup. I got her at Wal-Mart a long time ago.

I was at the park today and I heard the ice cream man coming. I got a dollar and runned and runned and it never stopped, so I runned down the street and it finally stopped. I ran 825 far! Dadda thought it wouldn't stop but I knew it would stop. I already had the shark ice cream before so I got a color one that pushes up.

[Dad's Note: Bridger acutally ended up running about half a mile after the ice cream truck. We were in a park and the truck was just passing by on a non-residential street. Bridger grabbed a dollar from his mom and took off faster than I've ever seen him run before. I chased after him and we both ran after the truck. When it finally stopped, the ice cream man said "At first I thought you two were just out for a run. Then I noticed he (Bridger) had no shoes on." He let Bridger choose anything on the menu and he gave me a bottle of water on the house.]

Jesus, Dinosaurs, and Stuart Little

This one is for the butterflies.

Every night dadda reads Stuart Little to us before we go to bed. Then we read a dinosaur story and then a Jesus story. But maybe we should start reading the Jesus stories first before Stuart Little, because Jesus stories are very special. And maybe the dinosaurs would be sad if we didn't read about them after Jesus. Then maybe Stuart Little last, because Jesus and dinosaurs are real and I don't think Stuart Litte is real. But maybe Stuart Little will be sad if we always read him last, so maybe Jesus and Stuart Little can take turns.

The Things Mommas Know

This one is for Sami. She was at Tooele Valley dancing tonight. She danced really good.

When momma isn't somewhere where we are, we do stuff, like get things and open stuff by ourself. If I want some popcorn I make popcorn. Or a peanut butter sandwich. And I can open string cheese. But still momma knows what I do when I'm not by her because she's a momma and she knows those things. But there is two things momma doesn't know: why Jesus made mosquitos have sharp noses and if a lion could kill a bear.

Ok, let's push the orange button and send this to the whole world!

Happy Birthday, Dinosaur Boy!

This one is for Mickey Mouse. Do you think he reads my blog? I don't know if he has a computer that works. I think I saw one in his house, but it didn't move and the buttons weren't real.

I finally got a Mega T-Rex! I can't even believe I got a Mega T-Rex. I got it from my momma and my crazy dadda for my birthday. I'm 5 now. McCall is already 5 so I can see how kid that's 5 acts. The kids gave me my own Land Before Time game. I have 5 words to say tonight: I got a lot of prizes for my birthday today. Thank you to everybody who gave me presents today.

[Dad's Note: This is Bridger's 3rd dinosaur cake, 3rd dinosaur-themed birthday.]

The Story of Noah and His Trailer

This one is for Preslie. I wish I could find her so I can play with her just like the good old days.

Noah was an angel. Grace taught me that when I was three years old. He gathered a lot of goats and 10,000 chickens and put them in the ark. The ark was his trailer and he took them to a farm.

The rains came down and the floods came up. The rains came down and the floods came up. The rains came down and the floods came up and the farm on the hill washed away.

If an elephant and a mammoth was on the ark together, the elephant might attack the mammoth and stab his tusks into the mammoth's belly and charge him and push him off the side of the ark. That would be sad because I like mammoths, but not way a lot because mammoths aren't dinosaurs.

A Beautiful Mind

This one is for Gammy.

I can video stuff in my mind and then watch it in my mind. I can watch my memories with my eyes open and even with my eyes closed. I remember when Snow White had a talk with me at Disneyland. I think about stuff and I put my eyes in my mind and watch it.

Like when dadda says something I just video it in my mind. When he reads to me I just remember all the words. Like when he read to me about the bambiraptor. Bambiraptor has big eyes so he can hunt at night. I videoed in my mind when I poured blood and goed in the ambulance, but it's hard for me to watch that show because that one keeps skipping in my mind.

[Dad's Note: If you're new to Bridger's blog and are confused by that last statement, see this post from last month.]

I Love My Brother

Me and West was riding our bikes to Maverick and he was being grumpy. He just kept stopping and crying and I left him behind. I don't like leaving my brother behind. Do you know what? Weston is special to me. That's why I suddenly felt like I should go back and get him. Sometimes I'm mean to him but I shouldn't because he is my buddy and my pal. Know what else? He is faster than me.

[Dad's Note: Coming from an extremely competitive boy, that last line is especially touching.]

Swimming, D.I., and Wal-Mart- The Perfect Day!

We goed swimming again today. I also got a stegosaurus from the D.I. for a dollar! Can you believe that? I had a lot of plans today. First I had cereal and then I was going to have ice cream then play dinosaurs with dadda. But then I just had to go to Wal-Mart with momma to pick out my birthday cake.

I like my 'puter, but it's pretty old. But it's still good. There is sticky stuff on my Jurassic Park dinosaur picture. I think Coulter put it on there because he's always doing stuff like that. There's so much sticky stuff that I'm just done with it. But I won't throw it away.

[Dad's Note: Bridger throws NOTHING away. 'Puter = computer (in this case, a Leapster).]

A Poolside Crush and Herrerosaurus

This one is for Lisa.

I played with the kids without getting them sick. I played with McCall the mostest. She's mostly nice to me. We went swimming in a swimming pool by the lake. We didn't swim in the lake because it's too deep. It doesn't have critters in it but it is still deep. I have a new friend. I met her when we were swimming. Her name is Kara and she has a flower swimming suit. She is beautiful. I talked to her and played with her. I hope I see her again. Shoot! I forgetted to talk to her about dinosaurs. I forgetted everything we talked about.

I want to put up a picture of a herrerasaurus skull. It's in my book called Dinosaurs the Good the Bad the Ugly. But NO dinosaurs are ugly.

[Dad's Note: Bridger has been under the weather the past few days and hadn't played with the kids too much.]

Meat: A Dinner Conversation at Chilis

This one is for baby Carter.

[Dad's Note: Bridger spontaneously dictated this post while we were out to dinner. I jotted it down on the kids menu with red crayon. Let's hope I can read my own handwriting...]

This is Weston's favorite restaurant because he gets his ribs. I'm having a cheese sandwich with red dip. I didn't choose ribs because I don't like them. I don't like them because I never had them. My favorite restaurant is McDonalds in Wal-Mart.

Meat is inside of dead animals. So Weston is eating a dead animal. Chickens is the only dead animal I like. But I also like round meats in wrappers. Do you know how those animals get dead? Somebody shoots them.

I bought a new dinosaur watch at Wal-Mart with my own moneys. It is so cool. Maybe I can learn how to tell time.

[For those new to Bridger's blog, red dip is Bridgerese for ketchup and round meats in wrappers are Slim Jims.]

Soldiers, Manatees, and Girly-Wirly Games

This one is for Ammon. His dadda is a soldier that protects America. This one is also for the manatees. A manatee is a big creature that eats salad. I think it would be cool if a manatee fighted a shark, but manatees are too nice to fight and the shark would probably rip him to shreds.

It was McCall's birthday party. There wasn't very much boys there. I gave McCall a doodle bear we bought at Wal-Mart. She loves it. That party was fun, but there were a lot of girly-wirly games. Except for the balloon one and red rover. You have to try to break out someone's arms. I ran fast like a raptor and I broke through. Linzie broke through me and Connor and it hurt 164 bad. I was going to tell you about a fun game I played today, but sorry, I already forgetted.

Soldiers and Helicopters

This one is for the soldiers. I love them because they love America.

This is a picture of me and a soldier. He's one of the good guys. He was very nice to me. This soldier flies the black helicopter that kills bad guys. I know he kills bad guys because there is a skeleton on his shirt. I thought that helicopter is old because it's all black. But dadda said it's black so bad guys can't see it. It landed and then it left and blowed grass all over me. It was 8025 fast! It probably went to kill bad guys.

It was like the helicopter I rided in, only that one was white. And in my helicopter I got needles 8025 times. But I didn't get any needles in the black helicopter.

[Dad's Note: The black helicopter was an Army AH-64 Apache.]

Dinosaur Geography

This one is for my friend Kelsey Bangerter. Bangerter- that's kind of a boy name. But Kelsey is not a boy.

Ha! Sami blogged on my blog because I was camping. That means she talked to my world. Maybe some day I will talk to her world. When I do, I will say a great shark fight would be with a nurse shark and a lemon shark.

I was at camping today. Me and West and Dadda hiked to Pleuredon Lake. There was an island in the lake and I called it Metriacanthosaur Island. We walked along a trail and found dinosaur bones! There is a big huge tree that fell down at camping and I first called it Styrachosaurus Rock. Then I called it Three Horn Peak, because that is a cooler name. It looked like a Styrachosaurus. It is also probably the same size as a Styrachosaurus' head.

Dus-E-Boy didn't believe me that there was a log called Three Horn Peak. But then I showed him the way there and he believed me. That's funny- even when I didn't see that cool log called Three Horn Peak, I still knew it was there. Dustin doesn't live at the hostipal any more! He's better so he got to come home.

[Dad's Note: Thanks to Sami for guest blogging for Bridger while he was camping. You can read her musings on her own blog. www.samilee.blogspot.com

The "dinosaur bones" Bridger found today were most likely those of a "deerosaurus."]

I Love Guest Blogging

My brother did something really funny last day. Last day Griffin was trying to bite me and I was pushing him away. It was so funny because he made me crack up.

One robber came in our house and stealed a check that we had to pay money for and he took out all the paper. He stealed a pen and my Dad is so crazy about it. And he's upset but I'm not sure why, because he just stole a pen.

Bridger, you are such a good friend for letting me guest blog. It sounds really, really fun and I'm doing it right now. I hope I did a good job!

[Sami's Dad's Note: A robber did break into our house, but he stole a credit card and a PIN (Personal Identification Number). Now you can understand why I'm "crazy" about it.

When I explained the difference between a pen and a PIN to Samantha she said, "So he didn't have his own PIN so he stole ours? Why didn't he just go to the store and buy one? Maybe they didn't let him in.]

I Gived Weston a Haircut Today

This one is for Momma.

I gave West a haircut today because he asked me to. West just said cut my hair, so I found some scissors in the drawer and cut it. Then he said cut it again. I just taked the scissors and cut his hair more. It was on the very top of his head that I cut. It was a good haircut. It's so easy to cut hair!

Momma just cut all Weston's hair off after that. Momma's in charge at our house. I used to think Dadda was in charge of Momma. Like if I'm hungry, if Dadda tells Momma to make my dinner than she makes my dinner. But Dadda had a talk with me and now I know that Momma is in charge of Dadda and in charge of us. Because we be nice to Momma because she's too special.

[Dad's Note: We'll be finding a new place to keep the scissors now. As for "who's in charge," Momma called me today at work to tell me that Bridger informed her that she wasn't in charge of him and that he didn't have to do anything she said. I had a little chat with him about family hierarchy and set the boy straight.]

I Love the Discovery Channel!

This one is for Kelsi in Tescas.

Today I want to talk about sharks. The megalodon was a dinosaur shark. He was the most powerful shark ever. There is this shark called the great white shark that isn't as powerful as the megalodon was but he is still pretty powerful.

On the Discovery Channel there was a shark that just eats seals. Blood was running down to the river. Then the people caught him and they ripped him. And there was this guy on the Discovery Channel that got bit by a shark on the foot and the leg. There was a bubble in his blood.

At SeaWorld there is a tunnel where you walk under and there are sharks swimming over you. And they have fish-doggies that eat fish when you throw them.

Oh, I love the Discovery Channel, it's my favorite channel because there's a lot of stuff like dinosaurs and sharks and bugs and snakes and worms and all the things I love. It learns me so much.

[Dad's Note: The scientists were performing an autopsy on a shark, hence "ripping him." "Fish-Doggies" = Sea Lions.]

Dinosaur Collection Strategy

This one is for Grammy Darla. She sent me dinosaurs that start out really little. Then you put them in water and they get big and turn into dinos! Thank you Grammy for those dinosaurs.

Whenever we go to the D.I. I get a dinosaur there. But only one. Sometimes when there are other dinosaurs there I put them all somewhere safe so other children won't get them. Do you know why I do that? Because there's hard dinosaurs that I really need and if somebody else takes them then I can't get them. If there are children that want dinosaurs, maybe they can go to another store like Wal-Mart or K-Mart or Kohls.

I have a new favorite store- Toys-R-Us. That's because it's all toys, not like Wal-Mart that has food, pinatas, boring clothes. But Wal-Mart is still my favorite store.